Transvestia

to drive to Chicago for a three-day whing-ding in 'gang- sterville'. We never got any further than Lafayette. On the outskirts we came down a slight incline to a railroad crossing. One car had stopped for the clanging signal. I don't remember the details but I heard it was a tie. Grace related, as tho it were a daily event.

• • •

"

Our flivver slid right into the baggage-car boom! The seat shot forward, broke both tibia and fibula into a compound fracture, shoved them right thru the skin and into the floorboard. It was kind of messy, I guess. The 'kindly-old-medics' had to remove about three and a half inches of bone and shortened the leg up to try and save it. For all their noble efforts to make me into a hippity- hop circulation trouble set in after two weeks and my Doctor came in one morning and let me have it. "Gan- grene, Gracie-girl!" He said. "It's gotta come off. We'll do a supra-condylar on top of the knee joint, this will leave you a full thigh for a weight-bearing stump. By pinning the patella over the end of the bone, drawing the flexor muscle over that you'll be able to jump on the end of the stump...if you want to go around doing those shenannigans. Which I don't imagine you'll be doing."

I said to him, "Oh stop it Doc... Your humor is killing me. Apparently there is no alternative. I don't doubt that a wooden gam would be more attractive than one swinging three or four inches above the ground, any- way. So...from a purely cosmetic viewpoint I guess I'll have to agree. Do I have any choice... ? " Looking seriously at me he said, "Seven o'clock tomorrow morning, Grace. We're all ready for you."

...

"Soooo", she ended, "that is my success story, Ог how I got stumped in ten easy lessons. Fascinating.. Hmmmmmmmmmm?" Grace started picking up her gloves, shopping bag and remembered to slip on her coat. "Well, Verna, old chum, leave us crutch out of here and away to the Orpheum! How is your leg dear, numb? No? OK, Climb aboard the sticks and we're off in a whirl of cheers and shouting!"

We got seats on the aisle from a very solicitous usher who constantly warned us against the sloping floor. I think

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